loving you was just all i was trying to do

i think im quite a good actor. like i can hide my emotions pretty well if i want to. and its good cause then people wont ask are you okay.. are you okay cause sometimes it make things worst. but i feel like a balloon about to burst just cause i hold it in. plus i have no one to talk to cause the ones i trust are proably sick of listening and the others are not very good listeners. honestly i dont think there are many good listeners i know like those damn good ones. the best one i knew was mon. too bad we drifted. oh well..

maybe this will help http://stress.about.com/od/relationships/ht/howtolisten.htm

Take a look at me now

A child is born into innocence, pulled towards good. Then how so did some of us turn out so terribly wrong. Some choose the dark, some choose the light. is it will. is it destiny. can we ever understand the force, that shapes the soul.

-Dr Suresh
hahaha!


isnt life boring..

The concept fan

a question is always a powerful tool. before you begin to solve a problem always take one step back to see a bigger picture then find ways to solve it. the best is if you go to the root cause and nip it at the bud.

went to st james today it was a night mare, guys everywhere dressing alike and they were all bengs! it was like poly x10. can't wait to be 18, then i can go to real parties. too bad the police doesnt count maturity or i'd be 21.

you're still trying to hard..


i cant just sit there and talk to you like i dont love you anymore cause i still do. and that is my root cause

how sia

no one understands, seriously. they think they do but they only understand something like it but not totally. i thought it was over but its coming back. somethings wrong. i need an emo talk with wee and jourdan right away

i shall continue my blog since im so lonely at home and theres nothing to do. :D

you need some direction

you've been living with a shadow overhead
you've been sleeping with a cloud above your bed
you've been lonely for so long
trapped in the past, you just cant seem to move on

watching the sunset in the east

i stayed at dennis's hose house last week. we played lan supper taunt at the park and stole our next day's lunch at shop and save.. it was so fucking easy to kope la the was no body there and there were only like a few cameras. haha

our lunch box

biazrre love triangle. erh plus dennis hahahaha

i went to east coast with the intention to see the sunset, to realise the sun sets in the west. feel damn gooood. it was damn fun la. i went with chua dennis ligang val. val was like concentraing damn hard to ride a bike. so cute..

A fairytale fantacy

Wonder if you ever see me
Wonder if you know Im there
If you looked in my eyes would you see whats inside
Would you even care?
I just wanna hold you close but so far
All I have are dreams of you
So I wait for the day
To take the courage to say how much I love you

zZz

nigel lost damn alot of weight laa. should have seen his youtube glory days. he was a ball! now he grow up already got gf sio! hahaha

sorry i havent been updating my blog. i just had no feeling to blog. this line sounds damn gay dunno why

just when i thought there was some excitment in my life it turned out that it wasnt meant to be. i think i need to play late gamer i play waiting game. i refused to be called a flirt or player. :) at least chua still loves me.

beauty world damn freaking budget! 2 can get noodle already. all they need to do is upgrade the place.

we'll smoke every brand and do every dare

i met up with the old group last friday for dinner at waffle town. i dont even remember when i last went there. szetoh lam chern brandon denesh chua and all were all there. its been so long since i met szetoh and he still hasnt reach puberty i think. hahah. we should have more dinners like that.

you're in my heart now

i dont have the feeling to blog anymore, i dont know why. maybe cause life is so boring now. at least theres a reunion dinner this friday at waffle town. :D:D

i showed you my heart and you showed me the door

i wonder why i dont feel exam stress. i just feel damn sian when it comes.

in the exam hall, the first few to leave were all barker boys.. first dom tye then adriel then ligang then me. haha tsk tsk barker.

i hope its two not six! wahaha

A lonely road

i want some excitment in my life..
life seems so meaningless nowadays.

i think i might just stay back 1 year in poly cause i am going to fail my subjects. and i only have 3! but no unless i study hard this week! so dont call me out!


what hurst the most
was being so close
and having so much to say
and watching you walk away
and never knowing
what could have been
and not seeing that loving you
is what I was tryin’ to do

i didnt mean to meet you then, we were just kids..

Remember...
the first time i went clubbing with you..

the day we were suppose to study and ended up at sentosa..

that day at sentosa you wanted to play hard to get but couldnt bare..

our monthaversaries at vivo..

the exam kits..

the day i wiped your tears by the pond..

me kissing your forehead telling you everyting was going to alright..

us sneaking out just to meet each other a few hours more..

the way we would make up damn quickly

thanks for the memories..

MERMAID!

i watched money not enough two yesterday! it was a damn good show la, everyone teared including brandon cheng yong hao. looks like he still has heart, a very tiny bit left. haha yea so go watch it!

i mis szetoh, lam, chua and jackey and all the people i used to be close with. i can tell we really drifted. what happen to the old days when we went to szetoh's place to play poker and smoke and drink! what happen to those 1 degree 15 chalets! what happen to those weekend dinners. now, we'll be lucky if we can see the whole group at someone's bday. amazing how people drift so easily. anyway i miss the whole group, the whole big group.

home alone

its 1.20 am and im damn bored. i play dota also until sian already cause im so freaking good! but of course jasper is the best!! anyway im so bored, is there more to do at night besides sleeping? im gonna meet jourdan and the rest now. i cant wait till we're old and we can all rent a house to slack in. that would be the life la!

Cigarettes and Marshmellows

last friday was 2b3 bbq with dirty boy. it was damn fun and nigel was the cook as usual.

nigel: jonny why you wear your contacts? its bad to bbq with it
me: cause i dont wanna cook
nigel: then whos cooking?! im not cooking you know!!

then when we reach the pit he auto take the food set the fire and start cooking. wahhahaa he cannot take not cooking. hahaha. then played snooker and went back to my place. and as gay as it may sound we play taboo! hahaha its was damn funny la wei hoe kept laughing i also dunno why. haha joudan was damn enthu and jasper was damn act! and darly was damn zai man! haha nigel just snored.
we should do it again soon. :) wahahaha

love ya!

i realised i need my friends alot when im feeling down. they're always there for me. ESPECIALLY JASPER!!!!!! wahahah

just let it go

now you're in second place with too many second chances

you love me alot
you hate to see me sad
you really need me

all these things you tell me, but your actions show no where close to them. time and time again you tell me these things and i believe you but i'll be disappointed. all along people tell me that i deserve better and you're not the one for me but i always thought they didnt know how we once felt. but now, i think they are all right.

that night i didnt dance with anyone cause i thought maybe you might feel weird or unhappy but the way you will be that considerate for me. i think im too nice to you and you've been taking me for granted. you want to enjoy the clubbing scene and you want me to stay as your best friend. i guess you cannot have the best of both worlds.

and if you were refering to me on your blog when you said you might have accidentally threw away the best thing that happen to you, well you did it that friday night. but if you werent refering to me, then you better hold that thing damn tight because good things dont come around that often.

im done being your jackass..

Thanks Jus!

thanks to jus i have a tagboard! wahaha i think if he wasnt in my class is would fail in alot of my subjects. but thankfully he's there to save me when im lost. thanks juss

I noticed..

what you guys say alot..

NIGEL : eh did i lose weight. or the food is over there!!!
JOURDAN : guys..
WEIHOE : ..!.. @$%& ..!..
BRANDON : :P
JASPER : ...
DARYL : dirty.. or just pretend i dunno
LAM : CHEEBYE!!
SZETOH : OIYOH
CHERN : no seriously sumpa brotherhood
SASHA : NO! ( to nigel only )
hahahah
then i dunno already..

A tribute to wee

im at wee's house now. we went to shaun's house and i lost nigel's laptop at his condo. im sorry wee.. i have a really bad habit of losing things and no matter how much i try i still lose things. guess i need to try harder. i love you wee!

I was feeling sad after i heard about something until a wise told me "just kill your emotion" and a notso wise friend to me "just let it sua la, tomorrow okay one"

when you slammed the front door shut

none of the others opened up

so did my eyes so i can see

that you never were the best for me

and you will linger on

im at jasper's house now and i havent been here for so long. i met up with 2b3 except wei hoe wasnt there. havent see that guy in so long and i miss you. if you're reading this call me out!

and i know i may sound outdated but i think david cook is a really really good singer! like really really good. he's original and has massive vocals. he's like the only artist that i will actually buy a cd from. haha
i was suppose to stay at wee's house when i realised he was going to wake up at 830 to eat breakfast, not suprising from wee. so instead im staying at jasper's place. i have so many things to talk to wee about but nvm it can wait i guess.

i watched the dark night with ben today! and it was okay.. but i expected better from what ben said. hahaha

be yourself

i followed my sisters to some leaders thing and my sister made this speach about being yourself and i think its damn true.
and i realised i love my friends because they are always themselves in front of different people. they dont try and be someone else to please and gain favour and thats the way i like them. OH but cant say the same for tpl because he's not a diff man in front of bungs dont worry. hahahaha loveyouwee.

the person that gets the most criticism takes it the best. or could it be he takes it the best thats why he gets it the most criticism.

i get the message

you know when you call someone out and she says she needs to study. but the next day you call her and she's out. what does that tell you? i think its pretty obvious..

today i went back to barker :)

Endless Rain

i woke up late so i wanted to sleep in but my parents didnt let, and although i was freaking tired i got up and went to school. Walked all the way to my block to realised i couldnt go in cause i didnt wear my shoes. i felt good. met the np cell and went for some prayer thing, its wasnt that bad. then we had supper. and i realised how much i missed chua. haha

okay goodnights ;)

jourdan and nigel :))

I GOT A BLOG!! i took damn long to create this blog. but thanks to jourdan and nigel i finally created it :D thank you. i shall start blogging the next time! i really will.

i love my friends